In August, 2010, DailyMail.com reported the following
story:
It was a final
chance to say goodbye for grieving mother Kate Ogg after doctors gave up hope
of saving her premature baby.
She tearfully told
her lifeless son - born at 27 weeks weighing 2lb - how much she loved him and
cuddled him tightly, not wanting to let him go.
Although little
Jamie's twin sister Emily had been delivered successfully, doctors had given
Mrs Ogg the news all mothers dread - that after 20 minutes of battling to get
her son to breathe, they had declared him dead.
Having given up on
a miracle, Mrs Ogg unwrapped the baby from his blanket and held him against her
skin. And then an extraordinary thing happened.
After two hours of
being hugged, touched and spoken to by his mother, the little boy began showing
signs of life…
[The mother
said,], 'A short time later he opened his eyes. It was a miracle. Then he held
out his hand and grabbed my finger.
'He opened his
eyes and moved his head from side to side. The doctor kept shaking his head
saying, "I don't believe it, I don't believe it".'
The Australian
mother spoke publicly for the first time…to highlight the importance of
skin-on-skin care for sick babies, which is being used at an increasing number
of British hospitals.
In most cases, babies
are rushed off to intensive care if there is a serious problem during the
birth.
But the 'kangaroo
care' technique, named after the way kangaroos hold their young in a pouch next
to their bodies, allows the mother to act as a human incubator to keep babies
warm, stimulated and fed.[i]
It is clear that not all lost causes are lost. Sometimes, life wins despite amazing odds. In John 11:1-44, Jesus faces the hopeless situation of his friend’s death. You’d think that if anybody was a lost cause, it’d be Lazarus. By the time Jesus arrives, the body has been in the grave four days. His sisters have no imagination that there’s anything that Jesus can do at this point. They know that He can heal, but raising the dead—that’s another matter. Each of the sisters expresses their sadness and disappointment, and Jesus cries. But his tears are for their sadness and not for his own loss, because He knows what He is about to do. This lost cause is not a lost cause. Lazarus will rise from the grave. Jesus has them remove the stone, and He calls Lazarus out. After a pregnant silence where everybody watches and waits, the dead man steps from the darkness, alive!”
Lazarus
had been bound in the grave, wrapped in the rags of death, and captivated by
his coffin. Yet Jesus knew that his
friend’s story wasn’t over—that there was more to come. His sisters didn’t have the insight that
Jesus had. They thought his life was a
lost cause, but Jesus knew better. For
this reason, the Master could ask the Father, and God could raise him to
life.
Maybe you’ve got some
“lost causes” in your own life that you’re not sure about. You don’t know whether to have faith for a
miracle, or whether to accept loss. Jesus
could tell the difference between a lost cause and a miracle about to
happen—but sometimes we have a tough time discerning that. The Serenity Prayer says, “God grant me the
serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things
I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
How do you know the difference?
One way is the presence of serenity.
Sometimes, when serenity comes over you, you know it’s time to give up,
and it’s okay. There are times when a
person knows that it’s okay to let Grandma or Grandpa go, remove life support,
and let them slip away. But with
Lazarus, this was not one of those times.
Maybe your lack of serenity says that this “lost cause” isn’t really
lost—and that you need to keep praying.
In Luke 11, Jesus teaches
about persistence in prayer. Jesus says,
“And so I tell you, keep on asking, and
you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on
knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives.
Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened
(vv. 9-10 NLT).” Of course, this
doesn’t mean that you’re always going to get what you want, if you just harass
God enough. You have to be praying
according to God’s will. With people,
persisting with something they don’t want simply becomes harassment—and it’s
the same with God. Sometimes persistence
is the key, but other times, persistence can be harmful.
Once I counseled a woman
whose relationship with her adult daughter was broken. In a controlling, harassing way, she pursued
her daughter. I explained to her that
the more she tightened her grip, like water her daughter would run through her
fingers. Sometimes, you may be
persisting to keep something, but your persistence is driving a wedge or
causing more harm than your fear of losing.
In this woman’s case, her lack of serenity wasn’t an indication that it
was spiritually time to fight the good fight—it simply meant that she was
pig-headed and manipulative. You’ve got
to get to the place where you’re willing to fight for what you believe is best,
to pray for it, to work for it, but also to let it go if God grants
otherwise. It could be that your
tenacity is hurting yourself and others, and doing more damage than the problem
itself. Sometimes, by pushing for what you want, you violate the rights and
dignity of other people. This is not the
kind of persistence that Jesus taught.
The song “Even If” by
MercyMe illustrates the point of trusting God for a solution, but trusting God
even if the solution we want isn’t what we get:
They
say it only takes a little faith
To
move a mountain
Well,
good thing
A
little faith is all I have right now
But
God, when You choose
To
leave mountains unmovable
Give
me the strength to be able to sing
It
is well with my soul
I
know You're able and I know You can
Save
through the fire with Your mighty hand
But
even if You don't
My
hope is You alone
I
know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would
all go away if You'd just say the word
But
even if You don't
My
hope is You alone
In times of
struggle, your hope needs to be in God alone—whether or not you get what you
want. When faced with mountains that
need to be moved, or flames that need to be gotten through, the serenity prayer
asks for the kind of courage that changes things through persistence and
faith. But it also recognizes that there
are some things that can’t be changed, and asks for wisdom to know the
difference. Not all lost causes are
lost. Some aren’t lost because they are
won with courage and persistence. Some
aren’t lost because the serene person is able to graciously let them go. The wise person knows the difference between
holding, and holding on too much. Only
if you choose to fight a losing battle is a cause ever lost. “Ask, seek, knock,” Jesus says. The guarantee isn’t that you’ll get what you
want—but that if you keep seeing God, you’ll have the wisdom to know the
difference. In John 11:40, Jesus says, “Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s
glory if you believe?” This glory
isn’t found in getting exactly what you’re praying for, but in finding courage,
serenity, and wisdom in the midst of suffering.