Just like our society has written
laws, we also have unwritten rules. We
have a lot of them, when it comes to cussing, cursing or swearing, or having a
“potty mouth” (depending on where you’re from).
Some rules are about who you can cuss in front of. For instance, it used to be that you didn’t
cuss if women or children were around. This
was so you didn’t corrupt them. And if
you were a child, you definitely didn’t cuss in front of the teacher, or
grandma. This was so you didn’t get in
trouble. And, no matter who you are, you
sure don’t cuss in front of the preacher, or at church—because, you know, it’s
only then that God can hear. Then there
are unspoken rules about certain people get a free pass to cuss—like mechanics
and sailors. But what if you’re my
brother, and you’re both a preacher and a sailor? (I guess he’s really confused!) And then there are secret rules about special
exemptions from the cussing clause. Like
it’s okay to cuss if you refer to somebody else and make “air quotes.” Or if you spell it. Or if, in your spelling, you make reference
to sports equipment, like hockey sticks.
Sometimes these rules about cussing
seem arbitrary. Why, for example, can
you use a word like “doo-doo,” but not its alternative? According to Oxford Dictionaries, it all
comes from a class distinction in England.
After the Norman Conquest, peasants who continued to speak an Old
English dialect that was heavily influenced, were looked down upon by the
nobles who spoke Old French, which was influenced by Latin. The nobles believed that the Germanic-based
language was “vulgar” (which means “of the crowd”). In English, our offensive language mainly
comes from that Germanic base, which is considered vulgar because it’s the
language of the common people. It has
nothing to do with obscenity, and everything to do with cultural snobbery.[i]
Christians
have a long history of saying that it’s a sin to cuss—but when it comes to foul
language, it’s important to know what the Bible does and doesn’t say. The Bible gives us many guidelines for
appropriate speech—but not appropriate language, if that makes sense. Keep in mind that the Old Testament was
written in Hebrew, and the New Testament was written mainly in Greek—and the
writers couldn’t have cared about English, because as a language it didn’t yet
exist. So whether you say “poo-poo” or
its alternative is not even a consideration for Biblical writers. It’s not so much whether your words come from
a Germanic or French background. It’s
what comes out of your heart.
Proverbs emphasizes not the avoidance of
certain words, but clean speech, as opposed to perversity. Proverbs 4:24[ii] says,
“Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.” Proverbs 10:32 says, “The lips of the
righteous know what finds favor, but the mouth of the wicked only what is
perverse.” In other words, good people know how to use
their language to bless people, help people, and honor people, but wicked
people use twisted speech. The word
“perverse” means to be turned away from what is right and good. So the interest here is in our speech being
straightforward, honest, and honorable—as opposed to corrupt, which speaks of
rottenness, decay, and disease. This is
the difference between cussing and cursing.
Cussing is when English-speakers choose Germanic-based words. Cursing is when we use speech that is wicked
and perverse, that does real damage. There
are several categories of corrupt speech, including:
Lying.
Proverbs 10:18 says, “Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and
spreads slander is a fool.” This is
not only dishonesty about another person, but dishonesty about how you
feel. God wants integrity, which means
our feelings and speech need to match one another. Proverbs 12:19, 22 says, “Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a
moment…The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people
who are trustworthy.” Proverbs 19:9
says, “A false witness will not go
unpunished, and whoever pours out lies will perish.” God isn’t just concerned with making sure you
are honest with yourself—God wants us to be honest with each other, and about
each other. Even for those who think
they can get away with dishonesty, life has a way of bringing truth and its
consequences to those who deceive.
Gossip.
Not everybody who gossips is a liar.
Sometimes gossip is true—but just because it’s true, that doesn’t mean
it needs to be told. Proverbs 11:13
says, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but
a trustworthy person keeps a secret.”
Bible teacher Greg Laurie suggests that before you spread gossip, you
need to T.H.I.N.K. Ask yourself if what
you’re about to say is true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind. If not, then keep it to yourself.[iii]
Mocking. Proverbs 14:6 says, “The
mocker seeks wisdom and finds none, but knowledge comes easily to the discerning.” Mocking is when we use
our words to tear other people down.
It’s like the emotional bully who calls names because he can’t use
rational language. Typically, mocking
uses words we generally consider offensive to a person’s ethnic, cultural, sexual,
or gender identity. The opposite of
mocking, of course, is knowledge and discernment.
Troublemaking. Strange as it may seem, sometimes lying,
gossiping, and mocking are not really intended to harm people—they just somehow
do. But troublemaking is when you
intentionally are trying to harm another person. Proverbs 6:12-15 talks about, “A troublemaker and a villain, who goes
about with a corrupt mouth, who winks maliciously with his
eye, signals with his feet and motions with his fingers, who
plots evil with deceit in his heart—he always stirs up conflict. Therefore
disaster will overtake him in an instant; he will suddenly be
destroyed—without remedy.” Notice
how the troublemaker uses not just his speech, but his whole demeanor, to stir
the pot? Sometimes he can say one thing
with his mouth, and another with his body language—masking his culpability with
intentional deceit.
Instead
of these things, Proverbs advises that we use our speech thoughtfully and
respectfully, with wisdom and love.
Proverbs 16:24 says, “Gracious
words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 18:21 reminds us, “The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.” When we remember this, we become
aware that our speech should be used to heal, and never to hurt. We also remember that if our words offend
people, even if it’s because they come from Germanic instead of French
roots—then maybe we need to rethink our word choices in front of those people.
Author
Wayne Dyer points out that when you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes
out. Not grapefruit juice or apple
juice—because what comes out is what’s inside.[iv] In the New Testament, Jesus says, “A good man brings good things out of the
good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil
stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of (Luke
6:45).” When life puts pressure on
you, what comes out is what’s inside—I pray that your words will build up, and
not tear down, and that they’ll be filled with love and virtue.
[ii]
Scripture quotations taken from the NIV.
[iv] Dyer,
Wayne. “Why the inside Matters.” https://www.drwaynedyer.com/blog/why-the-inside-matters/. August 20, 2018.
