"I'm broken. The church is broken. And that's beautiful."

"I'm broken.  The church is broken.  And that's beautiful."  That was my answer when someone asked me what I'd say if I ever interviewed for a pastoral position again.  Now, I'm not saying that I will, and I'm not saying that I won't, ever pastor a church again--that's up to God.  I'll just say yes to whatever God directs.  But when the question came to me, how I might represent myself or communicate my vision for the (universal) Church, I answered in terms of brokenness.

You see, I come from a broken home--two times over.  My parents didn't divorce til I was grown, but it profoundly impacted me as a young adult.  My first marriage lasted almost a quarter century, leaving many blessings but also some damage to my heart, to hers, and to our children.  But God specializes in restoring things that are broken.  People who are broken, too.  But God restores us beyond that which was fractured, and gives new purpose to our shards.

Kintsukuroi is the Japanese art of mending broken pottery with gold or silver lacquer.  This serves as a metaphor for the way that pain, grief, and trauma can transform us into something beautiful.  It reminds us that our brokenness, our scars, can become things of beauty.  My life is Kintsukuroi. 

Now, I don't claim that I have been restored.  Instead, I'm proud to say that I'm broken.  But I'm being renewed day by day.  God has forgiven my failures, is putting me back together, and constantly restores my life, my love, and my livelihood.  God has brought me together with my amazing new bride, given me a new home, a new country, and a renewed purpose.  I can't say whether I'll ever stand in a pulpit again--but when somebody asked me how I'd express myself to  the Church, I'd say that I'm broken, and that's beautiful.

I'd also tell any individual congregation that it, too, is broken.  Because the Church (universal) is made up of damaged people who are all in the process of being restored, individual churches too are comprised of messed-up people.  They're led by messed-up people.  And they serve messed-up people.  If I ever stood before a church again, I'd tell them not to forget that they're all broken.  And that when they engage the world, they shouldn't do so from a position that says, "We've got it together, and we want to help the damaged people to be like us."  Instead, the church needs to embrace its Kintsukuroi-ness, and understand that broken is beautiful.  We're all damaged--and God is putting us back together.  The Church can only get real with the world when it gets real with itself.  Because the broken world will never be attracted by a pristine church.  Only a damaged Church will do.