Spirit & Truth # 274
“Christian Homes: As Christ Loved the Church”
By Greg Smith
In
these weeks from Mother’s Day to Father’s Day we’re talking about how we can
have Christian homes. We heard the
Apostle Paul’s words in Ephesians 5:21-22[1]: “Submit
to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” This week, the submission verse has a
counterbalance, which reads: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved
the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25).” God calls husbands
to love their wives as Christ loved the church—to the point of self-sacrifice.
How
does Jesus love His bride, the church?
He puts her needs above His own.
1 Peter 2:23-24 says, “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not
retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself
to him who judges justly. ‘He himself bore our sins’ in his body on the
cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; ‘by his wounds
you have been healed.’” If you’re a husband,
then God wants you to love your wife by resisting the urge to retaliate. Love your wife by being willing to trade
being right for being responsible. Love
your wife more than you love your rights—then you’ll be able to show Christ’s
kind of love.
Romans
5:8 says, “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still
sinners, Christ died for us.” Jesus
didn’t wait for us to apologize for our sin before He gave Himself to save
us. Instead, He offered His restoration
first, and then invited us to receive it.
God asks husbands to do the same with their wives. Don’t demand an apology when you think she’s
in the wrong. Instead, forgive her, even
without an apology. Not because you
think she deserves it, but just because you love her.
2
Peter 3:9 says, “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some
understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but
everyone to come to repentance.” Jesus
loves the church by keeping His promises.
Husbands who love their wives as Christ loved the church must follow the
Lord’s example, and be trustworthy in all they say.
Jesus
gives gifts to His church—something that husbands would do well to learn. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For it is by grace you
have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift
of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”
Then the Holy Spirit, sent by our Lord, also gives ministry gifts to the
church (Romans 12; 1 Corinthians 12). In
the same way, husbands need to love their wives by giving good things to
demonstrate their love.
In
Romans 8:34 and 1 John 2:1, Jesus
demonstrates His love for His bride by praying for believers. Husbands—are you praying daily for your
wives? You will—if you love your wives
as Christ loved the church. Even as
Jesus does, intercede before the Father on her behalf. Show her Christ’s kind of love.
Deuteronomy
31:8 says, “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never
leave you nor forsake you.” To give your
wife the love of Christ means to be faithful to her as long as you live. “The one who calls you is faithful,” says 1
Thessalonians 5:24. So should you be—if
you love your wife with the love of Christ.
Dr.
Anthony Campolo writes:
I challenge those who come to me for marriage counseling this way:
"If you do what I tell you to do for an entire month, I can promise you
that by the end of the month, you will be in love with your mate. Are you
willing to give it a try?" When couples accept my challenge, the results
are invariably successful. My prescription for creating love is simple: do ten
things each day that you would do if you really were in love. I know that if
people do loving things, it will not be long before they experience the
feelings that are often identified as being in love. Love is not those
feelings. Love is what one wills to do to make the other person happy and
fulfilled. Often, we don't realize that what a person does influences what he
feels.[2]
I
have found this to be true in my own marriage.
During those times when I haven’t felt particularly loving, I have
decided to behave in a loving way. I
have found that the act of loving shapes the attitude of love. So when “you’ve lost that loving feeling,”
bring it back by loving your wife anyway.
I imagine that the church isn’t always easy for Jesus to live with. Yet He loves her unconditionally. If you’re going to love your wife the way
Jesus loves the church, you’ve got to give that kind of unconditional
love. Give yourself up for her. Only by giving yourself away will you gain
God’s—and your wife’s—ultimate love.
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