When I was young, my
friend David and I were hiking in a public location and we discovered a
cave. It’s no good trying to talk some
sense into seventeen-year-old boys when a cave is involved. Never mind the fact that we had no guide and
no proper caving equipment except a couple of dollar store flashlights—we
plunged into the black with full abandon.
The entrance to the cave narrowed into a tunnel that descended at about
a forty-five degree angle. It was so
small that we had to shimmy through it feet-first on our sides, leaning on one
elbow. The opposite wall of the crack
that we were descending was so close that our noses almost touched the wet
rock. We were lucky we didn’t encounter
any cave-ins or dangerous wildlife, and we emerged from the crevice into a
large and beautiful cavern. The great
explorers were triumphant! Of course, we
soon found graffiti evidence that others had discovered this cave before
us—what else did we expect in a cave that was in a public location?
As we left the large cavern, just as we began the long
climb up that narrow tunnel, somebody at the top who didn’t know we were in
there decided to see what would happen if they threw a firecracker into the
cave. The sound it made was
deafening. The tiny crack we were climbing
through filled with painful smoke that threatened to take our breath. Even though we had our flashlights, I know
what the Bible means when it talks about a darkness that can be felt. The only way I made it to the light of the
surface was by constantly repeating Philippians 4.13, which says, “I can do all
things through Him who strengthens me.”
That one verse, repeated over and over, got me to the top. But when I reached the surface, I learned
that it helped me do more than survive the smoke and darkness of that narrow
tunnel. It helped me to not clobber the guy who had thrown the
firecracker! It helped me to
forgive. I learned that I can do all
things through Christ who strengthens me.
In the book of Genesis, we read about Joseph who learned
a lot of hard lessons in the darkness of his prison. He’d been gifted by God and favored by his
father—and he had let it go to his head.
He had misused these gifts and repeatedly been obnoxious to his older
brothers. In return, they had sold him
into slavery in Egypt. As a slave, he
had refused to do something immoral that was asked of him, and it landed him in
prison. I imagine that the stifling
blackness of betrayal and choking smoke of his hatred raged within him, as in
prison he ruminated on all the people who had hurt him. But in the journey through his pit he had to
learn, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” He had to learn to forgive the people who had
wounded him.
Through a series of supernatural events, Joseph
eventually got out of prison and not only thrived but became the number two man
in Egypt, second only to Pharaoh. A
famine in his homeland caused Joseph’s brothers to journey to Egypt and beg for
grain. Once they realized who he was, they
groveled before Joseph fearing his wrath for what they had done to him. Yet he forgave them, blessed them, and
invited them to come and live with him in Egypt. Genesis 51 tells about the death of their
father, after which the brothers feared that Joseph would now take his
vengeance. “But Joseph
said to them, ‘Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As
for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it
about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you
and your little ones.’ Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them (vv.
19-21 ESV).” Joseph confirmed that
when it comes to forgiveness, he could do all things through the Lord who gave
him strength. He could forgive his
brothers, and love them enough to take care of them.
You know, it wasn't just Joseph’s brothers that he had to
learn to forgive. In the worst part of
his struggle, when guilt and misery and self-blame threatened to choke out his
very breath, Joseph had to learn to forgive himself. He must have understood the role that he had
played in offending his brothers to the point of them acting the way that they
did. He must have grasped how he had
gotten himself into this situation. He had
to come to a place of forgiving himself, pushing through the struggle, and
gaining God’s blessing.
Forgiving ourselves is hard to do sometimes—but we can do
all things through Christ who strengthens us.
This past Christmas I got some new shirts. They were the same size that I’ve always
worn, but they didn’t fit me. They were
too small in the middle. Or rather, I
realized that I was too big in the middle.
I realized I had to do something about it. Fortunately, I have a wonderful wife who is
an absolute inspiration to me. She’s
lost 114 pounds in the past couple of years, and she taught me a lot about
weight loss, about diet and exercise. In
the first part of the year, I lost a few pounds but then stalled out. So this past May we began running.
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| Lydia, Daniel, Beth, and me at the Color Run in Richmond this past Saturday. What fun, running and getting covered in colored cornstarch every kilometer or so! |
Now, I've lost 21 pounds so far, and I’m more than halfway to my goal. This past weekend, I ran my first 5k (3-mile) race. Beth and I are training for a 10k in October. Like Joseph, my journey with God has led me to understand the place of forgiveness in my life—forgiving others and forgiving myself. It’s also helped me to understand more fully the ultimate forgiveness that God gives me through Jesus. None of it would be possible without Christ who strengthens me. Today I pray that through His power you’ll be able to forgive others, forgive yourself, and become something greater than you ever believed possible.
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