Book of Virtues # 4 - "To Bark and Bite"

            People argue over the dumbest things.  Like, once I heard of two people arguing over what was the color of the swimsuit in “The Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini.”  (Was the bikini yellow, or were the polka dots?)  Or whether “Home Alone” and “Die Hard” count as Christmas movies.  Or whether cereal counts as soup.[i]  But most of our arguments are over much more important things.

           

            Believe it or not, I’ve had people who took issues with things I’ve said from the pulpit.  But, to be honest, I think that some of the sermons that people took issues with were arguably my best sermons ever.  There was the time I wanted people to get just as offended at what Jesus had to say about “my body is real food and my blood is real drink (John 6:55),” so I titled the sermon, “Flesh Chompers and Blood Guzzlers.”  Some people though that was too much—but, because it offended them, I felt like my job was done, because they understood just how much Jesus’ audience was offended.  Then there was the sermon where a young mother got mad at me because she had to explain to her kid what human trafficking and prostitution were, after the service.  I thought that was good that they learn it at church and from their parents, rather than at school.  Then there was the time I preached on the death of Steven, and I titled the sermon, “Getting Stoned.”  Arguably my best sermons ever.  But not everybody agreed.  They got mad about it, and they gossiped about it, and they wanted to argue about it.  And because those sermons were my babies, I wanted to argue right back.

Look—sometimes the things we argue about actually do matter, but it’s the way we communicate that’s the problem, not the fact that we disagree.  How do you feel when somebody takes something good that you do, something that you put your heart and your soul into, something that you don’t even do for yourself but for the good of other people, and they misunderstand, misinterpret, and misrepresent it to their friends?  I bet you don’t have to imagine it, because I’m sure it’s happened to you.  The book of Proverbs is a Book of Virtues that tells us how to handle these things.  It also tells us that God hates it when we do that kind of things ourselves.

 There are six things the Lord hates,
    seven that are detestable to him:

         haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
        hands that shed innocent blood,
         a heart that devises wicked schemes,
        feet that are quick to rush into evil,

         a false witness who pours out lies
        and a person who stirs up conflict in the community (Proverbs 6:16-19[ii]).

            The Bible uses some pretty strong words, saying that God hates and despises these things.  Proverbs 16:28 says, “A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.”  It’s actually perverse to treat another person wrongly, just because you disagree with them.  So don’t do it—and don’t fuel the fire and make things words by talking about somebody who has upset you.  Proverbs 26:20-21; 17:1, 14, 19 says:

Without wood a fire goes out;
    without a gossip a quarrel dies down.
As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire,
    so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife…

Better a dry crust with peace and quiet
    than a house full of feasting, with strife…

Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam;
    so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out…

Whoever loves a quarrel loves sin;
    whoever builds a high gate invites destruction.

            How do you deal it when somebody wants to argue with you, about what’s arguably the best thing that you’ve done, or that you do?  God’s Book of Virtues gives us some suggestions.  Proverbs 15:18 says, “A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.”  15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  A few weeks ago, I suggested the song, “I’m a Little Teapot” to remind you to see yourself with a little humor, not take yourself so seriously, and instead of boiling over, to pour your ego out when you get steamed up.  Proverbs 18:18 says, “Casting the lot settles disputes and keeps strong opponents apart.”  This means it would be better to flip a coin and trust to luck, rather than ague with a brother and destroy the relationship.  Verse 19 says, “A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city; disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.”

            Maybe you see something in the Bible differently from your Christian friend—that doesn’t mean you need to fight about it.  Maybe someone has been gossiping about you, because they disagree with you and find it easier to talk about you than with you.  In William J. Bennett’s The Book of Virtues,[iii] you will find a little poem by Isaac Watts, entitled “Let Dogs Delight to Bark and Bite”, which says:

Let dogs delight to bark and bite

For God hath made them so;

Let bears and lions growl and fight,

For ‘tis their nature too.

But children, you should never let

Such angry passions rise;

Your little hands were never made

To tear each other’s eyes.

            Recently, I saw a video of two elephants fighting.  They use their massive weight against each other, and their three-meter tusks are like spears that can gouge out eyes.  During mating season, when bull elephants are in musth, there is six times more testosterone in their bodies than usual.  These hormone-driven fights can last up to ten hours long.[iv]  But an African proverb says, “When elephants fight, it’s the grass that suffers.”  I wonder—what innocent people are suffering, because you persist in an argument that wasn’t worth beginning anyway?

God’s people get into conflict so often that sometimes one might wonder whether we really are God’s people.  It seems that Christians are often so convinced that we are right, that we become so insistent that we are mean-spirited about it.  Instead, we should listen to a word of wisdom I heard recently:[v]  “If you have to choose between being kind and being right, choose being kind and you’ll always be right.”  Proverbs 10:12 puts it this way: “Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.”  Jumping off of this verse, the apostle Peter wrote, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).”  It doesn’t matter whether you’re tempted to be on the offense or defense—choose love instead, and cover the sin.

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[i] “Thirty of the Dumbest Arguments Ever.”  Pleated Jeans.  https://pleated-jeans.com/2017/03/21/30-of-the-dumbest-arguments-ever/.  August 14, 2018.

[ii] Scripture quotations taken from the NIV.

[iii] Bennett, William J.  The Book of Virtues.  Simon & Schuster: New York.  1993.  Pg. 37.

[iv] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX8rE-d1Fxc.  August 14, 2018.

[v] Source unknown.