Saturday, August 8, 2020

Dear Former Church Members (If the Shoe Fits)...

Dear Former Church Members (whose congregations I once served as pastor),*


Some of you, with notes of pity or disdain in your voices, have told me, "You've changed."  Well, this is true and untrue at the same time.  Let me explain.

In some ways, it may seem to you that I've changed because you never knew ALL of what I believe.  Because in Southern Baptist churches, where the pastor is employed by the individual congregation rather than by the denomination, every single church member considers themselves the pastor's boss.  This means that Baptist pastors know all too well that they can't put all their cards on the table--whether those cards are political, theological, or social.  When you have a hundred bosses at each church you serve, it keeps you on edge.  Did you know how much you (if the shoe fits) kept me on edge, trying to make you happy while I was serving you?

Because we constantly walk a tightrope, many Baptist pastors (including myself) have learned to keep their opinions about politics to themselves, because if their opinion differs from that of their church members, their jobs might just be on the line.  That's because unfortunately, American Christians often confuse political opinion and religious belief.  So if many of my Republican church members knew that sometimes I vote Democrat, it could have been professionally disastrous.  So I kept my views quiet.  Now, when I voice my political opinion, you say I've changed.  To which I respond--yes, I've changed in that I've learned that now I can actually be like everybody else and express my political opinion.  Isn't that a good thing?

You also say I've changed because I've begun expressing theological opinions that are different from yours.  To which I ask--why did you assume I believed the same as you, anyway?  The beauty of being Baptist is that we believe in the doctrines of the Priesthood of the Believer and Soul Competency.  This means that freedom and individuality is honored in churches--at least, it's supposed to be.  But that has been pretty rare in Southern Baptist churches for the past 40 years or so.  Instead, conformity is preferred, and anybody who differs must certainly be wrong.  Because of the current climate with so much intolerance for difference, many Baptist pastors try to keep everybody happy by keeping the main thing the main thing, without trying to get sidetracked by issues that AREN'T 100% central to salvation message (where salvation is defined as going to heaven when you die because you accepted Jesus as your savior).  Pastors know that if they're growing spiritually and trying out different theological ideas, they'd better not let anybody know about it.  Best to just tow the line.  But now that I'm no longer pastoring your church--I feel freedom to express myself and hopefully let you know that it's okay for you, too, to stretch your wings and fly beyond the expectations of the fundamentalists around you.  You say I've changed.  Yes, I have.  I'm soaring.

You say I've changed in my position on social issues.  Well, that makes sense.  You didn't know about my political mind, and I couldn't share my deepest spiritual thoughts with you, so it's no surprise to me that you're shocked when I express my opinions on social issues and they're different from yours.  Since I'm divorced and remarried, I've had to really evaluate my views on marriage.  With several LGBTQIA+ people in my family, of course I believe in supporting their rights.  You'd believe so too if you knew how many of them are in your family.  And if you don't know how many there are, it's because you've shown them that they can't trust you enough to come out.  You say I've changed when I support Black Lives Matter--but that's only because you assumed my views on race were the same as yours.  Have I changed?  You bet--now that you're not my employer, I have freedom to tell you exactly how I feel.  Which just might be (gasp) different from you.

So yes--I've changed.  In a lot of ways.  If you've known me since I was a young pastor--maybe in my 20s or 30s--you did actually know a more conservative man.  I began to change a lot in my viewpoints about ten years ago.  In some other ways, maybe five years ago.  So if you knew me back in the day, then yes--I've changed in my opinions, perspectives, and views from when you knew me.  But I've changed because I'm open to life teaching me new lessons, because I'm open to God's spirit which still calls me to grow.  An active faith means an adapting one.  Honestly, if YOU haven't changed in the past 10 years, it's probably because you're not growing.  

But let me tell you the ways in which I have NOT changed.  In ministry and in life (yes, those two can be separate things), I have always tried to be motivated by love.  No matter how my family has been formed, I have always tried to love unconditionally and with my whole heart.  I have always been frustrated by "Christians" whose faith has functioned more to exclude people than to include people.  I have always tried to read the Bible through the lens of the Spirit of Jesus, which is more important than tradition.  And I have always tried to be instrumental in leading people to the many types of salvation that Jesus offers.  In these ways, I have remained constant.

Christian friend, it bothers me that you've looked at me with pity or disdain and said, "You've changed"--as if change is a bad thing.  It bothers me for your sake--not for mine.  I mean, in't CHANGE 100% the content of the Gospel message that I preached over 26 years of ministry?  This is the meaning of the word REPENT.  When we're going in the wrong direction, it takes humility before God to faithfully and honestly consider our own mistakes, to turn around, and grow towards God.  Change is also the core of the Christian message, when we understand it in terms of transformation.  This is what the resurrection is all about.  It's about being like Jesus--letting God transform me, like a gnarly old caterpillar coming out of a cocoon, now with legs and beautiful wings, ready to fly.  

So have I changed?  I hope I have--and I'm glad you noticed.


With love,

Greg


*If you're one of my former church members who isn't upset that I've changed, then it's because you're one of the good ones, who recognizes that all people grow, and your former pastor has grown as well.  So this is one of those "if the shoe fits, wear it" kind of articles.  If you're offended by what I've written, then this probably was, in fact, written for you.


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